People ask me all the time, “What exactly is it that you do?” And that makes sense. “Fertility Mindset Coach” doesn’t exactly conjure a clear picture in the way that doctor, lawyer, or firefighter does! But I’d love for you to have a clearer picture, and that’s what this blog post is all about. That way you’ll have a much better idea of why working with me would be helpful for you on your fertility journey.
First off, let me give you a little background. It took me 6 long years to conceive my first child. (You can read my whole story here.) During those 6 years, I felt all the things…overwhelm, sadness, anger, frustration, jealousy, loneliness…and much more. And it was all-consuming and wildly stressful. I ate, slept, and breathed fertility. It colored all my interactions, all my decisions, and all my relationships during that time.
But for something so all-consuming, I had very few people with whom to discuss it. My support system consisted of my husband, my immediate family, and a very, very few friends (like 2). And they were all great support sometimes, and kind of awful and unhelpful at other times.
When I look back at those 6 years, I often feel as though I was in a hole, or some kind of underground maze, and there was no one who could help me get out of it.
But eventually I did find my way out, and that’s when everything changed for me.
Now, using all the things that I learned along the way, my role, in a nutshell, is to help you find your way out, too.
So why would you choose to work with me?
You’re looking for some additional support.
Let’s be honest about this: you really need a ton of emotional support to get yourself through this process, but most of us absolutely do not have what we need. Like I mentioned above, my support system was primarily my husband and my mother, with a very few other family members and friends who knew what was going on. But after a while, my husband didn’t want to talk about it all the time like I did, and pretty frequently my mom, who was trying really hard, just didn’t know what to say. And that’s where I come in: I provide a safe and understanding space to talk about your fears, frustrations, anxieties, and all the other “stuff” that goes with this journey. In turn, that will help you feel less overwhelmed, and by offering personalized coping strategies, I can help you build the emotional strength and resilience you need to keep going.
You’re feeling stressed out and don’t know what to do about it.
This is stressful. So stressful. And that makes stress management key when you're trying to conceive (especially since stress can impact your fertility). Part of my job is to teach you practical techniques that fit into your daily life that you can use to manage and reduce your stress. Learning how to handle stress better will not only help you feel worlds better, but it will also create a more positive environment for your body and mind so that stress doesn’t stand in the way of your fertility journey.
Your confidence has taken a hard hit, and you don’t know how to get it back.
The pain of not being able to do the one big thing that you feel your body is supposed to do is real. And so is the loss in confidence that comes with it. Through our work together, I can help you reconnect with your inner strength and rebuild trust in your body’s ability to do amazing things. The process of shifting negative self-talk into positive affirmations is both incredibly empowering and uplifting, and will help you move forward feeling lighter and more prepared to take on whatever lies ahead.
You’re interested in taking a more holistic, mind-body approach
Most of us who have trouble getting pregnant eventually end up seeing a fertility doc. And that’s as it should be–it’s important to know what is going on inside your body as a starting point. But the primary tools of a fertility doctor are various types of medications, intrauterine insemination (IUI), and in vitro fertilization (IVF). There is nothing wrong with any of these, and they have helped thousands (millions?) of women have healthy, happy babies. Here’s the “but”: fertility doctors and their tools by and large ignore the mind-body component of fertility and health in general. They are solely focussed on the body. (Yes, there are certainly exceptions out there, but most of us aren’t lucky enough to find them.)
Taking a holistic approach means looking at your fertility journey from all angles, not just the physical side, and this is where I come in. You can think of me as filling in the spaces that a fertility doctor leaves blank. I can help you understand how your mindset, emotions, and overall well-being are connected to your fertility. Addressing all these aspects together helps you feel more balanced and in tune with yourself, creating the best possible foundation for your fertility journey.
You’ve already tried everything else you could think of, and now you’re just throwing things at the wall to see what will stick.
I see you! Come on over!
What tools are in my toolbox?
We talked about the “why” of working with me, and now it’s time for the “how.” What’s listed below is a very short and general explanation of some of the techniques I commonly use. Keep in mind that because every woman’s situation/experience/goal is different, the exercises and techniques I use with each woman are different.
Visualization–Athletes have been using it for years with proven results. Why aren’t we?! From visualizing a healthy reproductive system, to showing your body exactly what you want it to do when you ovulate, to “seeing” a version of yourself that is more relaxed and confident, the possibilities are nearly endless. Want to try it? Read this post for some ideas.
Guided Meditation–Not only is it incredibly relaxing, it’s a great way to work on changing thought patterns, building confidence, and restoring balance. In this post I talk more about why meditation is a fabulous tool for fertility.
Journaling–You’ll be amazed by what a little journaling can reveal. It allows you to better organize your thoughts, recognize the small wins that you’ve missed, and express yourself without fear of judgment. You can learn more about the benefits of journaling in this post.
Breathing Techniques–These are a must when it comes to short-circuiting stress and negative thinking. And many of them are discrete enough to use out in public any time you feel like you need a dose of relaxation.
Affirmations–Crafting good affirmations is another way to change negative thought patterns, boost your confidence, and increase your sense of well-being.
To sum this all up, my job as a Fertility Mindset Coach is to provide you with tools and support that will not only help you feel better as you work to conceive, but will also help you positively strengthen the connection between your mind and body so that they’re working together to move you closer to your ultimate goal.
